my eyes. crystalized.
burning from the sweet addiction of the light.
my throat. bloated.
fearing the words that are often shaded.
i’m trying to trust my gut instinct. but every day, something new happens. and i start to question everything. is it really the right choice? DO i want to do this?
deep into the pathways of my veins, there MUST be something keeping me here. as much as i want to be in denial of it, i have to face my fears.
this HAS to be right.
what is it, that i’m doing wrong?
what is it, that makes me so less interesting than before?
what can’t i give you?
haven’t i given you enough?
nothing is enough.
that’s why people push themselves until the marrow in their bones is thinning out.
i feel so weak.
i can’t do anything to make him be attentive like he once was.
maybe my gut instinct is wrong.
i could end up regretting this decision for the rest of my life, or i could see it as a learning experience.
haven’t i learned enough though? can’t i just make a choice, and live with it for the rest of my life?
this particular game in life is exhausting.
opening and closing yourself, in every single aspect.
it’s too much.
but still. good guy and bad guy on my shoulders here. giving me doubts, trying to make me stay true.
head and the heart.
or is it heart and the head?