lately, i’ve been down on myself for being so needy.
i need to constantly tell him, i love him.
i need to constantly touch him, for fear, that veins will run cold.
i need to constantly be thinking about him, or else, the fire will die.
and i’ve been down about it because i’ve been looking at it from all the wrong angles. there is absolutely nothing wrong about loving someone this much.
we, as a society, spend so much time telling other people how they should love, how they should act, “don’t do this too much” “don’t do that too much” “he’ll get sick of you” “blah blah blah”.
it’s sad that it took me watching a romance movie to make me realize this…but why should i care? i can stretch my heart out for someone as far as it will stretch. if a person is to get sick of the love i give them, then they aren’t for me.
i need to stop looking down on myself for feeling so strongly about someone, and start appreciating how so many couples fall out of love with each other, and yet, i fall harder and harder in love with my amazing boyfriend.
i have to keep reminding myself of how lucky i am to have him, instead of constantly fearing that i’ll lose him. i need to make every minute with him count, instead of counting how minutes i have left.
"Endless Love" is probably one of my newest favorite movies. It’s cheesy, it makes you cry, it might even be called unrealistic. but why? why does an endless love have to be "unrealistic"? we have to label everything with logic and fantasy these days, and it’s silly.
call me a dreamer, but i do believe in an everlasting love.
no matter if i don’t end up with him in the future, it’s the moment that i’m in that counts.
and in this moment, i have a love so strong, that my brain feels like it’s going to combust, every time i look at him.
i’m going to love fearlessly from now on. no more shaming my “girly emotions” i’ve had too many people try and tell me how to love and i refuse to listen.
take me or leave me. this is my will.
"a kind of love you never fall back from. never want to. a love, so big, so strong, it never dies. never fades, never loses its electricity. the kind of love you fight for. the kind of boy you fight for."